i think i finally get it.
It is impossible... well the only way to let nodes communicate with each other is when a gateway is available (directly or trough other nodes) when the node is starting up.
This forum discussion is explaining me the most..
a solution may be.. transform the node that is always on to an gateway. And use antoher channel.. Sidenode; then you can't tell the controller what the status is.
Is there realy no way that this can supported? Node to node comunication without the need of an gateway inside the network? Skipping the registration and just send the message around.
perhaps i will dive into the source one day and change the registration behavior.
Thanks anyway for the help and the very fast responding.