I just came across this thread while doing more research - good stuff!

I do have a latching relay breakout board with 2 latching bistable relays that can switch 16A @ 250VAC

As others have already mentioned, these relays have separate inputs for setting/unsetting the relay, so you can always start off with whatever state you want. Adding a hall effect current sensor, you can also detect the current state of the relay to see if it is open or closed.

You can check it out on Tindie.

Cheers,
Sridhar