I swear I'm going to quit spamming this thread once I have a solution, but the more I post, the most some other poor soul having the same issue out there might be able to find an answer to the same issue.

I ran across this amazing gem in the forums: http://forum.mysensors.org/topic/1648/test-your-home-made-controller-with-mockmysensors-w-tutorial/

So, I threw together an entirely new node, and uploaded this sketch to it. Surely, it'll start spamming messages, right?

find parent

           find parent

                      find parent

                                 find parent

Do I need to hard-code none IDs? That was something I noticed in the gateway sketch; 0 seems to be hard-coded as the ID. In the mock sketch, it's hardcoded to 50. So, it's different there, shouldn't cause an issue. Again, I've literally got everything sitting together on my desk, all running off of a powered USB hub, all radios have 4.7uf caps, and I've measured everything with my multimeter at 3.3v. There has got to be something completely stupid that I'm doing here, because the fake sensor sketch should have worked, but nothing is talking.