Thanks for the advice. I ended up troubleshooting my wiring and figured out the problem. I was getting 3.3V on the nano pin but the wire to the radio was only at 1.1V. A little resolder at the 3.3V pin fixed the issue, must have been a loose connection. The LEDs immediately lit up and the inclusion process worked perfectly, so I am back up and running! Time for my next project...

@benalsop ok never mind!! After trying the inclusion process about 8 more times it finally found the relay! Now both are included and it all works, whew, a little buggy but I'll take it as long as it continues to function...

Thx! Would you just recommend the Vera then?