A couple of things, you put the device to sleep so while it's asleep, it won't respond to the commands to change the relays. Since you are combining relays and sensors, you need to keep the unit awake and find a different way to send the sensor data occasionally. For the relay status, read the comments in the sketch. You are saving the relay state and then reading that on startup. You can eliminate all of that code and just set the relay to off in the setup section.
@Yveaux Thanks for your response. I guess that's it. I have to burn a bootloader first :-). I have a USBasp Programmer for that. Can you point me to a wiring diagram that shows how to connect the programmer to the circuit board?
In deep Sleep the cunsumption is below 19µA, but i have to send with PA_MAX. On some Windows the open/close frequency is verry high, so the battery is to fast emty.
The CR2032 is good, but i want more "lifetime"